Home Away from Home

The role of dorm parents at Eagle Hill School—a day in the life.

Students at Eagle Hill School are all honorary family members, and for four or five years, EHS is their home. They live and learn, laugh, thrive, and become in a community where they belong, learn, sometimes fail, grow, achieve success, and ultimately find their passions and establish life-long friendships. The dormitory becomes the students’ home, and their peers and dormitory parents become their extended family.

Eagle Hill School is an incredibly welcoming community. With 200 boarding students and 20+ commuting students, fifty-five full-time teachers, and eleven full-time dorm parents, students feel comfortable being themselves.

The EHS model of utilizing both a dedicated student life faculty in the evening program and an evening support team comprised of teachers and school administration is unique.

The EHS model of utilizing both a dedicated student life faculty in the evening program and an evening support team comprised of teachers and school administration is unique. It affords the opportunity to know students in a more comprehensive fashion while providing a level of consistency that supports their learning experience. 

For those students who board at EHS, the dorm parents charged with supervising the campus dormitories are available in the evenings from 3:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. (Dorm parents also work in the morning from 6:45 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. These individuals are a resource for our students, and this is their full-time work.)

Our dorm parents understand that there are challenges to be faced outside of the classroom as well, and the skills needed to master the areas of organization, time management, homework completion, and social development must be coached and nurtured for adolescents. The average student-teacher ratio in a dormitory setting is 18:1. 

Below is an excerpt of a day in the life of an EHS dorm parent.

When I explain to people that I live in a building with thirty-seven teenage girls and a second dorm parent, I collect an array of reactions, from shock to pity to disbelief to confusion. While I’ll admit that it could rarely be described as a calm environment, it is never boring. My week runs from Sunday evening to Friday morning, and in between exists a plane of laughter, surprises, a tear or two, and guaranteed unpredictability.

On a typical morning, I wake up at 6:30 a.m. to make my coffee by 6:45 a.m. I am out on the dorm floor, knocking on doors to wake up students. I tend to be quite energized and musical in the mornings; sometimes, a wake-up can be as simple as saying good morning through the door, and sometimes, it requires knocking multiple times, cracking the door, turning on the light, and shaking the bed.

By 7:20 a.m., the first group of students is slowly making their way out the door, and by 7:45 a.m., the last few kids have gone to breakfast. Occasionally, there’s a panicked knock at the door for a missing laptop, a charger, a notebook, a sports uniform, or a missing homework sheet. But after 8:00 a.m., I am off duty until 3:00 p.m.

My downtime usually consists of some type of physical exercise, quality time with my two cats, or a good book. I usually check my emails twice throughout the academic day to see if a parent has a question or if a teacher wants to share information about one of my girls.

At 3:00 p.m., I head back out onto the dorm floor to get ready for the Student Life portion of the day. I check any notes that go up on the website regarding kids from my dorm, and I make a tentative checklist. I say tentative because as much as I plan for a day, it’s impossible to guess what the students might need.

Sometimes, we need a group venting session; sometimes, we need just to have a goofy dance party; and sometimes, we need a serious conversation because it feels like the world as they know it is coming apart. So, when 3:10 p.m. comes and the final bell rings, students rush back to the dorm. 

The time between 3:10 p.m. and 4:00 p.m. is filled with kids coming into the dorm, some immediately rushing to change for athletics practices, some coming in late after meeting with a teacher for extra help, some running in to tell me about a good score on a test they were nervous about. It varies, but that time between 3:10 and 4:00 is a good time for me to talk with the girls. 

At 4:00 p.m., we have our Student Life Block. This is when most athletic practices or home games start, non-athlete students have their activities, and everyone heads out of the dorms in different directions. For example, play rehearsal meets in the afternoons from 4:00-6:00 p.m. on Mondays and Tuesdays.

My schedule tends to be more fluid during this time, and some days, I stay in the dorm and have a few kids who need to have some downtime to address the living beast that has become their room, or we have some students who need a quiet, calm and familiar area to start homework. All our students are different, and while we have a set schedule in place for the weekday evenings, we tend to assess and address each student’s needs on an individual basis.

All our students are different, and while we have a set schedule in place for the weekday evenings, we tend to assess and address each student’s needs on an individual basis.

At 5:15 p.m. comes the rush of students back into the dorm. This is the start of unstructured time. Students have from 5:15-7:00 p.m. and 8:00-9:00 p.m. as free time. They are responsible for getting dinner at some point from 5:30-7:00 p.m., and each student should be involved in one to two clubs per week at 6:00 p.m. or 8:00 p.m., but otherwise, this time is free for students to spend time socializing, organizing and decompressing from the academic day.

This is where the magic happens.

Students feel free. Many students search for social interaction in the STEM building; some go to play board games in the WHIKs Student Union, and some collect a never-ending stream of packages from the mailroom. If the weather is amenable, students will be dotted around the quad in clusters, up at the skatepark, playing a game, working out in the sports and fitness center, or going for a walk or running around the campus loop.

During the winter, there will be snowball fights and new appearances of snowmen, snow angels, snowboards, and skis. Ski Club is one of our nighttime clubs that meets on Tuesdays, and several girls in my dorm take the trip right after school to ski at Mt. Wachusett. 

Right before my dinner time, I usually get a call from one of our senior girls who spent two years in my dorm. She double-checks that my dinner time is still 6:00 p.m., and then she meets me at the dining common, and we get dinner. We are usually joined by several other students, both currently in my dorm and those who have moved on, who either sit with us or drop by for a chat. T

his is a time when I get to check in with some of my former students who don’t always make it across campus to come and visit. While I give them a hard time for not visiting, and it seems bittersweet to see them being so independent, it does occur to me that sometimes that is the best sign of a job well done.

After dinner, I head back to the dorm. The 7:00-8:30 p.m. block is when students have study hall, and at 7:00 p.m., all students return to the dorms to start homework. On lower campus, we typically have at least two and often three duty faculty (teachers who are on duty from 4:00-9:00 p.m.) to assist for an hour and one or two older student proctors who come to help.

Math has accidentally become my specialty, but I can also occasionally be found reading chapters aloud—voices included—with students. We also have a collection of girls who prefer to work in the lounge in a slightly less structured environment.

Students get checked off for homework and then are allowed to have quiet free time until 8:00. If students are finished with their homework by 8:00, they are free to leave for an activity or club at 8:00.  If students are not finished with their homework, they need to keep working and have their work checked off when they are finished. 

After study hall, there’s always a collection of girls hanging out in the lounge. Sometimes, they watch TV, but more often, it’s filled with laughter and conversation. Some days, we have birthday celebrations with pizza and cupcakes, and a few times a month, we have dorm floor activities.

The announcement of dorm floor activities is usually met with a chorus of groans, but during the events, I can usually spot conversations between unlikely individuals as well as poorly concealed smiles and giggles. I’m fairly sure the girls like them secretly, but they’ll never admit this to me. This time of the evening is a good time to assess how the day/week is going for the students.

This is where the community comes in. It can almost be scary how much unity teenage girls can form when they bond over a shared feeling.

These are some of my favorite conversations to be a part of. Usually, I set up the guard rails, but more often than not, the girls are behind the wheel for the conversation. This is where the community comes in. It can almost be scary how much unity teenage girls can form when they bond over a shared feeling.

At 9:00 p.m., all students return to the dorms for campus curfew, and they have free time until roughly 9:45 when they need to start preparing for lights out at 10:00 p.m.  By 9:30, most students are winding down for the night. This is the time when I most frequently talk with the girls individually and provide some extra guidance or affirmation about the days and events in their lives. I have my regulars, but there is no way to know who might need a little extra attention each night.

At 10:00 p.m., it is lights out on lower campus, and everyone heads to their own room and gets ready for bed. From 10-11:00 p.m., the dorm floor gets quiet. It is one of the only times when students are present, but noise is absent. There’s a water bottle needing refilling here and there or a last-minute question that bursts in right before sleep, but overall, the hallways are empty.

During this time, I catch up on emails, make photo collages to decorate birthday doors, or just generally check off anything on my start of shift to-do list. At 11:00 p.m. I head back into my apartment to my two cats, who are under the impression that they are being starved. I feed them dinner and get ready for bed. I’m usually asleep before midnight, and I have my alarms set to wake up at 6:30 a.m. the next morning and start the day all over again.

A new adventure begins!